God has a lesson in everyday things. He speaks to me in nature, similes, and metaphors . I’m creative so God shows me his creative side. My wife asked the florist to put succulents into her bouquet because I love them and grow them. These are the florists’ clippings from her bouquet and I’m propagating them. I felt they weren’t doing well so I lifted one out of the dirt and it had a tiny root . Another day passed and I questioned another succulent’s health so picked it from the soil and it too had a small root . Whatever process you’re going through- trust-god . When I picked the stems from the dirt and saw the roots God was like it’s like your own life. You might not “see” me or see what I’m doing but I’m in your process!




Don’t feel like painting.

It’s therapeutic.

Easier to sulk.

Painting releases.

Emotions flow.

Feelings flow.

All falls onto the canvas.

I release my body onto the canvas.

My heart.

My soul.


I started in worship. Thinking of an assignment given to me by my counselor. “Self-work” is difficult when you’re searching your soul and heart. This is what I painted in worship while thinking about how I view myself and how God actually views me.

I see myself lowly, with low self-confidence, as if I’m not enough sometimes, as in the shadows viewing myself from the past, but God sees me “Big.” A man of God. His child. Loved and valued by Him. I have to see myself in His light as a man with confidence in front of others, in public, in critiques, -basically I have to apply how God sees me in all aspects of my life. I can no longer walk in the shadows of my past or in the way I view myself.

Here’s what I painted:


Was gonna’ go to church today.

I kept hittin’ snooze.

I wanted to go.

I haven’t been lately.


I was worn out last night.

I was worn out this morning.

It doesn’t matter.

It’s bothersome that I condemned myself.

“You should be at church.”

“Why can’t you just get out of bed.”

Watch what you say.

Watch what you post on social media.

I kept thinking of those religious memes.

(Insert Kermit the frog drinking tea: “You can go to a concert on Saturday, but can’t make it to church at 10am on Sunday. But that’s none of my business.”)

It is your business.

If you want people in church.

Don’t condemn them.

Are you superior because you’re at church at 9:45am every Sunday?


At 5:45pm every Wednesday.


Religious people who post on social media.

Are they better?

Are you better because you’re at church every Sunday and Wednesday?

Are you better because you post condemning material on social media?

What makes you superior?



So today was Counseling.

I didn’t want to share a story.

I did.

So glad I did.

Healing is taking place.

Memories are being healed.

Traumatic events are being renewed.

Fear and terror will be no more.

God sits on his throne.

Embraces me.

Loves me.

Calls me son.


You are complete.
You are loved.

-Been doing a devotional that is helping me to see that beating yourself up is like crossing out what Jesus already did. I used to deal with cutting so learning that beating myself up mentally or harming myself is taking punishment upon myself for no reason.

-He's got you.
-He's got you.


No matter what I’ve done. 

God sees me as his son.

God sees me as his child.

No matter what I do He doesn’t hate me.

He loves me.

His love is overwhelming.


He chose to have His Son die for us.

He loves us.

We are righteous.

We are children of God.





Not condemned, but cherished.

Not shamed, but loved.


Psalm 42:5-6

Was having a rough night. Thinking about a few things and God took me to Psalm 42:5-6 … “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? HOPE -in- God; for I shall again praise Him, my Salvation and my God.”