View.

I started in worship. Thinking of an assignment given to me by my counselor. “Self-work” is difficult when you’re searching your soul and heart. This is what I painted in worship while thinking about how I view myself and how God actually views me.

I see myself lowly, with low self-confidence, as if I’m not enough sometimes, as in the shadows viewing myself from the past, but God sees me “Big.” A man of God. His child. Loved and valued by Him. I have to see myself in His light as a man with confidence in front of others, in public, in critiques, -basically I have to apply how God sees me in all aspects of my life. I can no longer walk in the shadows of my past or in the way I view myself.

Here’s what I painted:

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So today was Counseling.

I didn’t want to share a story.

I did.

So glad I did.

Healing is taking place.

Memories are being healed.

Traumatic events are being renewed.

Fear and terror will be no more.

God sits on his throne.

Embraces me.

Loves me.

Calls me son.

Righteous.

No matter what I’ve done. 

God sees me as his son.

God sees me as his child.

No matter what I do He doesn’t hate me.

He loves me.

His love is overwhelming.

Breathtaking.

He chose to have His Son die for us.

He loves us.

We are righteous.

We are children of God.

Chosen.

Valued.

Loved.

Accepted. 

Not condemned, but cherished.

Not shamed, but loved.

Beautiful chaos. 

Life is beautiful…yes.

Life is sometimes beautiful chaos.

Trying to see the positive in things.

Life is sometimes beautiful chaos.

“Tonight I felt like I could explode.  I used to cut myself to cope, but tonight I used art as a coping mechanism.”